shepherdstv

The Bachelorette – Ranking The Men

In Episode Recaps, Shep's Thoughts on June 24, 2016 at 12:13 am

It’s been a while since I’ve meandered back over here to share my thoughts on anything to do with TV, but it’s okay you guys because I’ve found the one thing that actually gives me reason to do it – the current season of The Bachelorette.

I have to give my husband the credit for this one, because hidden beneath the exterior of a video game loving Taco Bell enthusiast* is the heart of a man who loves the trashiest reality TV. It was he who settled on an episode of The Bachelor last season where we first met JoJo. And it was he who came back to watch the season finale where we watched her heart get shattered by Ben. And it was he, who set a season pass for The Bachelorette without me asking.

And now our Monday nights are spent praying that our two month old stays down for the night while we enjoy chalupas and eagerly anticipate which guy will get the heave-ho from JoJo.

That being said, I’m just going to go ahead and rank all of the men in no particular order aside from alphabetical because I still don’t know if I have a favorite. (I’m lying. I do. It’s Wells.)

bachelorette

Alex – For a marine, he’s certainly not as manly as one would be expect. There’s sensitive and then there’s whiny bitch and Alex is kind of falling a little more into the latter category.

Ali – When your eyebrows are the most memorable thing about you, you’re going home. (And he did…preferably to find a good waxer.)

Brandon – Poor Brandon. He wanted to experience a love similar to that in The Notebook. The closest his hipster-self can get is to write about his time on The Bachelorette in a notebook since he’s gone now. And he will. Because he’s a hipster…he HAS a journal, probably hidden beneath a pile of fedoras that he only likes ironically.

Chad – I couldn’t tell if he was a planted actor or just a sociopathic deli-meat enthusiast, but regardless he’s said farewell, with just the slightest hint of serial killer.

Chase – He’s good looking enough, but his personality leaves much to be desired.

Christian – I actually liked him, but since I’m not JoJo, my opinion matters not.

Coley – A smile as big as…something really big. It was too big. Honestly frighteningly so.

Daniel – His occupation was listed as “Canadian” and he aligned himself with Chad. Bad idea, eh?

Derek – He recently needed reassurance from JoJo. It’s okay Derek. You’re good enough, you’re smart enough and gosh darn it, people like you. But NOT Alex.

Evan – The  erectile dysfunction specialist didn’t get a new shirt from Chad OR a rose from JoJo. Thus recaps Evan and the No Good Horrible Very Bad Day.

Grant – Like most firefighters, he was hot but his personality was akin to that of a doorknob.

Jake –  He stated that in 5 years he saw himself married to The Bachelorette, expecting their first child. Which bachelorette? Because not this one.

James F.- Owned a boxing club. And that’s all I can pretty much remember about him. And he probably hated Chad. Because, let’s be honest…who didn’t hate Chad?

James S. – Bachelorette superfan. Possibly would have made Chris Harrison into a coat had he lasted longer.

James Taylor – The only james out of the three to actually have his last (possibly middle) name listed. And that makes him important.

Jonathan – Who? Did he even speak? Seriously, did he say words? Was he on this show?

Jordan – Hot former football player. Brother of hot current football player. Potentially mini Chad in training.

Luke – Super hot, but also interchangeable with Jordan at this point in the show.

Nick B. – Listed his favorite magazine as Ducks Unlimited. As well he should. Because Ducks Limited just isn’t bringing it anymore.

Nick S. – He’s ruggedly handsome and afraid of “scary” cheese. Perhaps JoJo saw this as a symptom of potential lactose intolerance that could be passed on to their future babies and that’s why she cut him. Or because he’s a 26 year old man who’s greatest fear isn’t dying alone but brie.

Peter – Were you BFF’s with Jonathan? Were you guys just like, out by the pool?

Robby – Falls in line with Jordan and Luke. JoJo has a type and it makes them indistinguishable from one another. (Or maybe I should cut back on the moscato during these episodes to be able to tell these guys apart.)

Sal – Oh Sal. You…were a guy. That was there. I think.

Vinny – Never trust a barber with a bowl cut.

Wells – Dude brought All 4 One with him to meet JoJo. And is hilarious. When she cuts him for one of the wolf pack, I will be sad. I swear. (By the moon and the stars in the sky).

Will – He was sweet. So, he’s not there anymore.

shepherdstv

Can I Accept A Rose?

*Enthusiast does not properly describe his love for the Bell. He would marry a flatbread if he could.

 

Bones Season 8 Premiere Sneak Peeks: Shep’s Take

In Uncategorized on September 10, 2012 at 9:44 pm

One week from tonight…one week from the very time that I am writing this post, Bones will be back on the airwaves. It’ll be back to wrap up one of the most intense season finales in the show’s history and to say that fans are excited is an understatement. They’ve been chomping at the bit since Brennan drove off with her daughter, leaving a broken Booth on the steps of the church where his daughter had just been christened. Any piece of information they can get about the upcoming season has been gobbled up the spoiler-hungry fans who are in full pursuit of the question: what’s next?

Today Fox released the best hints we’ve got of what’s to come: 5 sneak peeks of the season premiere “The Future in the Past.” Take a look at the very first serious looks at what is in store next week.

Oh, and of course, you can find these other places but here you get Shep’s exclusive commentary. (Not that that counts for anything, but a sheep can dream.)

 

  1.  Let’s talk about the awesomeness of Reed Diamond. Bones hit the jackpot in terms of casting a federal agent that can stand toe to toe with Booth.
  2.  “My office.” Um, that’s Booth’s office.
  3.  Shout out to the bobble head bobby!
  4.  How long have we dreamed of seeing a picture like that on Booth’s desk.

 

  1. The blonde hair wouldn’t fool anyone and I love this show, but come on hair and make-up. You can do better than that.
  2.  “Da-da!” So sweet.
  3.  Three months and Brennan still looks just as heart broken as she did when she left.
  4.  How much am I loving that both Booth and Brennan look at the same picture? And again, 8 seasons worth of waiting for that picture…and I would do it all again.

 

  1.  Having spent some time at the unemployment office this past year, I am not surprised that a serial killer would be able to get a job there. (I kid! Kind of…some of those people were scary)
  2.  Booth is just all kinds of sexy…even when filling out paperwork. All glarey and whatnot. *whew*
  3.  Wondering what number the FBI is on Pelant’s speed dial.

 

  1.  A moment of silence for whatever the hell crawled up Cam’s ass & died. I’m hoping she wasn’t actually serious about the possibility of that being Brennan’s body, otherwise quel harsh, no?
  2.  Um, Angela ix-nay on the Ennan-Bray leaving the ower-flay. Maybe not with the proclaiming that one so much in front of Flynn.
  3.  Speaking of Flynn…seriously, the levels of bad-assery knows no bounds. I seriously love him.
  4.  Clark, so good to see you. Be around more. Kthnxbai

 

And finally…the pièce de résistance…the one thing that every fan has been waiting for. The one thing that has been teased in the promo, and gets even more of a tease here right now…the Booth and Brennan reunion.

 

  1.  I wish it was lit a little bit better, because I would really love to see that fight scene a little bit brighter.
  2.  So, there’s no yelling, no screaming…just passion. And something I saw described on tumblr as pelvic embracement. I support this term.
  3.  If Booth was on top of me, I would have reacted the exact same way.
  4.  Note that the kissing and the pelvic embracing get cut off. Which means there is more.

 

THERE. IS. MORE. And it’s coming next week. So the only question left is:

ARE YOU READY?

 

 

 

 

An Open Letter to NBC, From a Community Fan

In Uncategorized on May 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Dear NBC, 

I’m sorry. I feel like the only way to start out this letter is with an apology. I really don’t know what I or other Community fans have done to offend you so greatly as of late, but as I look as your recently released fall schedule, I realize, it must have been something really really bad. What else could explain your placement of my favorite show in such a disastrous time slot on the fall schedule? 

We Community fans have given you our heart and soul, just as the Chuck fans had because YOU (yes, YOU NBC) gave us something amazing. You gave us the Greendale 7. Each and every episode of Community has been funny. Have they all been hilarious? No. But they have made us laugh which is the point of a comedy. While other networks have surpassed you in ratings and you have taken beating after beating, we stood by you because YOU, NBC were the ones responsible for so much of the funny in our lives. 

From the very first preview I ever saw of Community, I loved it. The scene where Joel McHale & Jon Oliver talk about Duncan’s DUI is still to this day one of the funniest moments of TV history. Its been over a year and I still cannot bring myself to delete the KFC episode from my DVR. This year’s musical episode surpassed every expectation I have ever had about anything ever. I literally sit here recalling so many funny moments that I feel warrant mention in this blog and I realize they’re too numerous to count. And part of me wants to list them all just for the fun of it, but then I think about what this is and I change my mind. This is an open letter to YOU NBC, and yet I know you won’t read it because I know you don’t care. 

After all, giving my favorite show Whitney as a lead in on a Friday at 8PM speaks volumes about how much I (and all other Community fans) mean to you. Has anyone at your network even seen Whitney? Because it’s awful. It’s really, really bad. I mean, seriously. I would tell you to watch it sometime, but I clearly don’t hate you as much as you hate me. 

Granted,  we Community fans should take refuge in the fact that our little show has been renewed. We should be thanking you for not canning it outright.

But instead, here I am feeling like Oliver Twist: terrified, cold, hated and alone as I simply ask “Please sir, may I have some more.” The tasteless gruel that you put on my plate will be served on Fridays at 8PM in the form of Whitney. It’ll be vile and unfunny, and might make me want to vomit, but I will have learned my lesson. I will never ask for more again.

So, NBC, again I would to apologize on behalf of all Community fans. We’re sorry that all we wanted was more of a show that we loved that you gave us. But I have learned something from all of this. I’ve learned to never ask for something from you ever again. I will watch Fox, and ABC, and CBS (now that they love Cougar Town, TBS) and stay far away from you NBC. 

Because God forbid I want more of another of your shows. I know what happens to TV fans who get greedy. 

 

Again, my sincerest apologies,

A Loyal Lover of the Greendale Seven.

 

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