Archive for the ‘Episode Recaps’ Category

The Bachelorette – Ranking The Men

In Episode Recaps, Shep's Thoughts on June 24, 2016 at 12:13 am

It’s been a while since I’ve meandered back over here to share my thoughts on anything to do with TV, but it’s okay you guys because I’ve found the one thing that actually gives me reason to do it – the current season of The Bachelorette.

I have to give my husband the credit for this one, because hidden beneath the exterior of a video game loving Taco Bell enthusiast* is the heart of a man who loves the trashiest reality TV. It was he who settled on an episode of The Bachelor last season where we first met JoJo. And it was he who came back to watch the season finale where we watched her heart get shattered by Ben. And it was he, who set a season pass for The Bachelorette without me asking.

And now our Monday nights are spent praying that our two month old stays down for the night while we enjoy chalupas and eagerly anticipate which guy will get the heave-ho from JoJo.

That being said, I’m just going to go ahead and rank all of the men in no particular order aside from alphabetical because I still don’t know if I have a favorite. (I’m lying. I do. It’s Wells.)


Alex – For a marine, he’s certainly not as manly as one would be expect. There’s sensitive and then there’s whiny bitch and Alex is kind of falling a little more into the latter category.

Ali – When your eyebrows are the most memorable thing about you, you’re going home. (And he did…preferably to find a good waxer.)

Brandon – Poor Brandon. He wanted to experience a love similar to that in The Notebook. The closest his hipster-self can get is to write about his time on The Bachelorette in a notebook since he’s gone now. And he will. Because he’s a hipster…he HAS a journal, probably hidden beneath a pile of fedoras that he only likes ironically.

Chad – I couldn’t tell if he was a planted actor or just a sociopathic deli-meat enthusiast, but regardless he’s said farewell, with just the slightest hint of serial killer.

Chase – He’s good looking enough, but his personality leaves much to be desired.

Christian – I actually liked him, but since I’m not JoJo, my opinion matters not.

Coley – A smile as big as…something really big. It was too big. Honestly frighteningly so.

Daniel – His occupation was listed as “Canadian” and he aligned himself with Chad. Bad idea, eh?

Derek – He recently needed reassurance from JoJo. It’s okay Derek. You’re good enough, you’re smart enough and gosh darn it, people like you. But NOT Alex.

Evan – The  erectile dysfunction specialist didn’t get a new shirt from Chad OR a rose from JoJo. Thus recaps Evan and the No Good Horrible Very Bad Day.

Grant – Like most firefighters, he was hot but his personality was akin to that of a doorknob.

Jake –  He stated that in 5 years he saw himself married to The Bachelorette, expecting their first child. Which bachelorette? Because not this one.

James F.- Owned a boxing club. And that’s all I can pretty much remember about him. And he probably hated Chad. Because, let’s be honest…who didn’t hate Chad?

James S. – Bachelorette superfan. Possibly would have made Chris Harrison into a coat had he lasted longer.

James Taylor – The only james out of the three to actually have his last (possibly middle) name listed. And that makes him important.

Jonathan – Who? Did he even speak? Seriously, did he say words? Was he on this show?

Jordan – Hot former football player. Brother of hot current football player. Potentially mini Chad in training.

Luke – Super hot, but also interchangeable with Jordan at this point in the show.

Nick B. – Listed his favorite magazine as Ducks Unlimited. As well he should. Because Ducks Limited just isn’t bringing it anymore.

Nick S. – He’s ruggedly handsome and afraid of “scary” cheese. Perhaps JoJo saw this as a symptom of potential lactose intolerance that could be passed on to their future babies and that’s why she cut him. Or because he’s a 26 year old man who’s greatest fear isn’t dying alone but brie.

Peter – Were you BFF’s with Jonathan? Were you guys just like, out by the pool?

Robby – Falls in line with Jordan and Luke. JoJo has a type and it makes them indistinguishable from one another. (Or maybe I should cut back on the moscato during these episodes to be able to tell these guys apart.)

Sal – Oh Sal. You…were a guy. That was there. I think.

Vinny – Never trust a barber with a bowl cut.

Wells – Dude brought All 4 One with him to meet JoJo. And is hilarious. When she cuts him for one of the wolf pack, I will be sad. I swear. (By the moon and the stars in the sky).

Will – He was sweet. So, he’s not there anymore.


Can I Accept A Rose?

*Enthusiast does not properly describe his love for the Bell. He would marry a flatbread if he could.



The Killer in the Crosshairs Kills It With Bones Fans

In Bones, Episode Recaps on March 10, 2011 at 11:50 pm

Just one day after several fans took to the comments to bash Bones executive producers in an article that announced Emily Deschanel would not be stepping behind the camera this season, it seems that Hart Hanson and Stephen Nathan have regained the love of their sometimes fair weather fans. It’s funny to watch how quickly the tides change, and how just giving fans a smidgen of what they want can result in a twitter feed that looks like this:

While those sparkling gems were all about the quick 30 second promo that aired after tonight’s episode, it can safely be said that The Killer in the Crosshairs effectively gave fans EXACTLY what they wanted this season: That old B&B magic.

From the opening scene (which could have been straight out of a fanfic, it was that perfect) to an awkward, yet adorable ending The Killer in the Crosshairs was most definitely reminescent of the Bones of yore. We were given everything we love. Don’t believe me? Check the score board.

1. Flirty Scene that’s Not Outwardly Flirtly but Could Easily Be Defended As Flirty
Check. It was that first one, the run in the park. They go running together. On their day off? He wants to go to a lecture with her? Let me put this in context for you all: if Seeley Booth were a dog, he’d be humping her leg.

2. Booth in the Lab
Check. In fact, not only did we get Booth in the lab we got Hodgins OVERLY explaining something to Booth, which effectively pissed him off. When in the HELL was the last time that happened? Personally, I love any Hodgins/Booth interaction and I will take as much of it as I can get. And then, like that annoying little British twerp, I will walk up to the front of the line and “Please, sir, may I have some more?” (I really hope you all read that with a badly faked British accent, because that is SO what I was going for there.)

3. Caroline Being Awesome in Any and All Regards (aka just being herself)
Check. If a realm of total and utter character perfection was “the can” and Caroline was “Boogey” then logically I must deduce that Boogey was indeed in the can. Caroline freaking ruled this episode with a legal fist that doesn’t mind smacking around a scrawny little twit. Thumbs up, Cher.

4. The Iconic Speculatory “He/She’s Her Lobster” Scene
Every good episode of Bones has one scene that makes fans channel Phoebe Buffay and squee “Awww he’s her lobster.” Or “Awww. She’s his lobster.” Either way, as long as someone can safely reference one of the parters being the other one’s crustacean, life is good. Tonight, we got TWO lobsters.
A. Booth caring so hard about what Brennan thinks of him. More importantly, Booth caring so much that Brennan might think badly of him that it drives him to SWEETS to talk about his feelings. Yeah, how about THEM apples. He wants to be her lobster. And he cares because he f’ing loves her.
B. Brennan confirming that she’s standing right beside him. And that she always will be. Unless they’re sitting. Too freaking cute for words. Translation: I’m you’re lobster. I certainly feel for you folks allergic to shellfish. Y’all must be a bit puffy right now. Might I offer you an epi pen?

5. Hot Booth/Angry Booth/Protective Booth/Flirty Booth/Angel Booth
If I were doing less of a deep analysis, I would just classify this section as Booth because we all know that he is the common denominator with every single one of those adjectives, but the whole is only as great as the sum of its parts, right? RIGHT?
Hot Booth: #Running = #Winning.
Angry Booth: Oh Caroline, you claimed you didn’t see anything. That’s fine. We all saw one hell of a sexy man getting all angry and all “I’ma grab you by your shirt collar and make you tell me what I wanna know.” You do that, Booth. You go be all “grrr Federal agent.” I loves me some “grrr Federal Agent.”
Protective Booth: “Stay in the car, Bones.” The last time he told her to do that there was a baby involved. This time…well, it was just damn sweet and sexy. He could guard my body any day. (Where is my filter? I mean really, WHAT?)
Flirty Booth: “I’ll buy the coffee cause I’m a gracious victor.” (Who would look great without his pants.)
Angel Booth: Rarely do I even get glimpses of the vamp detective with a soul that served as DB’s alter ego in the years before Bones. But tonight, I was looking at Angel as Jacob Broadsky held a gun on him in his apartment. And that Angry Booth scene later? Well that was Angelus minus leather pants.

Yes, the Killer in the Crosshairs had all the ingridents to make Bones fans squee happily with delight. And that promo that caused my twitter feed to look all wonky and crazy pants? Well, that’s right here loves.

Now I could get all deep into this one and say, “Brennan calls it making love!” and do a whole deep dive into their relationship but instead I’m just going to go with “OMFG THEY”RE TALKING ABOUT DOINKING!”

I’ll see you all next week…and in the words of Seeley Joeseph Booth: “I’m BACK Baby!”

I should apologize for liberal mentions of Pantsless Booth...but I won't.

The Big C: Episode 2 Summer Time Recap

In Episode Recaps, The Big C on August 24, 2010 at 12:23 pm

The episode begins with Cathy picking up clothes in her son’s room, as he sleeps. She putters about, pontificating that she’s done a disservice to his future wife by not teaching him to pick up his clothes and by raising a slob. As viewers, we understand that she has every right to be thinking about the future that she doesn’t have. To Adam, she’s just being his annoying mother. This interesting dynamic will most likely continue throughout the series as she continues to hide the fact that she’s living with stage four melanoma.

She then takes the clothes she’s picked up, as well as the entire hamper out of the room. He gets out of bed to follow her and discovers her outside, adding his clothes to the already burning fire that was once known as her living room couch. It’s burning in the giant hole that is supposed to be her pool, but as we learn will not be anytime soon since Marlene, her crabby neighbor reported her to the police. Permits will take 3 months to get, and Cathy observes that she’ll have an ice rink instead of a swimming pool.

At school, a weigh in with Andrea reveals that she’s gained four pounds. Cathy talks to her about walking and Andrea replies that she’s not going to have a bikini body anytime soon. It’s not like she’s Naked Nancy. When questioned by Cathy as to who that is, Andrea simply replies, “You’ve never been up to the roof?” Sure enough, from the roof Cathy can see Naked nancy, a neighbor who sunbathes naked. Cathy also runs into a male teacher who seems to enjoy the view a little too much.

At her doctor’s office, Cathy questions her time frame. He assures her as best he can that she has “at least a year.” When she asks about a year and a half, he’s less hopeful but still encouraging. When she smiles and says “3-5?” his simple answer of “We can hope” lets viewers know just how dire Cathy’s condition really is. It’s then the first time that we see the melanoma, which is a long pinkish mark on her back. As he examines her, she reflects that he is the only man who has ever seen her naked and that her husband hasn’t even seen her under fluorescents. She then opens her gown and asks her doctor to objectively look at her body. He tells her that she is well above average for any age. “You have an awesome rack,” he tells her and then jokes that he should fear losing his medical license for saying that. “With any luck you only have 18 months to feel guilty about that comment,” Cathy quips.

Paul interrupts her looking at pictures, accuses her of having an affair in his typical humorous way. For someone who believes that she’s cheating on him, his defense mechanism of funny sarcasm leads viewers to believe that above all else, he does trust her. Cathy explains that she wasn’t having an affair, that her dermatologist called her to check in after she had a procedure. Paul’s mood ligtens somewhat, and goes to get a drink in the kitchen while asking to know the real reason he isn’t living in his own house. She walks over and shuts the cabinet door, and tells him that’s why. She’s done closing every cabinet door that he leaves open and she’s done picking up clothes left on the floor. She wants those days back.

Paul in turn suggests therapy and tells her she owes him. She agrees, but stares at hin incredulously as he asks “So do you wanna make the call or should I?”

Cathy then visits her brother, who is outside somewhere trying to save the world by telling them to lay off the gas guzzling SUVs. She offers him some of Adam’s clothes, which he declines (“too ugly, too young, made by Taiwanese children in a sweatshop”) but agrees when he finally finds a pair of pants he likes. He takes off the jeans he’s wearing with no shame at all, and Cathy sees that he’s gone commando.

After the horror of seeing her brothers, she sees Andrea and lays into her for eating chips while walking. Sean then comments on her weight, calling her the victim of a “gluttonous society.” Andrea, in her doesn’t take crap way, calls him Jesus and tells him to shut up. Cathy offers Andrea ten bucks to stop eating the chips and she agrees.

Adam returns home and she tells him he’s not going to soccer camp, because it’s too long for him to be way. She tells him that she’s got a very short window to work with. She’s very excited about him staying, He tells her he hates her and she goes upstairs.

The first Therapy session sees Paul discussing how lucky he felt on their wedding day, and how he feels like his body isn’t good enough. He goes on a long, yet funny rant about his cancelled gym membership. The doctor asks Cathy what she’s thinking about and Cathy replies that she’s thinking about how much Adam loved playing hide & seek and that she wants a vanilla latte. She gets up and leaves.

She returns home with a paintball gun and tells Adam that they can now play together like he plays with his friends. He doesn’t want to play with her.

Cathy then takes the two lattes that she also returned with and goes to visit marlene. She finds her sleeping in her chair and quietly looks at Marlene’s wedding picture. She gently brushes her thumb across Marlene’s face while shes sleeping, which is clearly meant to be a sweet moment. Which it is until Marlene wakes up, freaks out and throws her out.

Back home, she’s alone and checks herself out naked in the fridge door reflection (“Stainless steel, you are kind!”) She takes a chance and goes out in backyard naked. Paul comes home and finds her, asking her what she’s doing because she’s lying naked in their yard. She talks about how she couldn’t feel confident at the topless beach when they were on their honeymoon, but looking back on it, she looked pretty damn good. She notices that he likes what he sees and he asks if she wants to do something about it.

“I wanna do it in the grass,” she replies brazenly. “You want me to do you in the ass?” he replies excitedly. The moment is gone, but the hilarity of the show is clearly hitting a home run.
He tells her that Adam lied about where he’s going and is on the bus to camp. She picks up Andrea and makes her drive, so she can paintball the bus to get it to stop. She gets on the bus and tells Adam the story of how when he was little she couldn’t help sleeping in the bed with him because she needed to have him close. “I’m not crazy, I just miss you.” Andrea shoots him with the paintball gun and he leaves, furious that she’s embarrassed him.

Upon getting home, she doesn’t apologize for what she’s done, but does tell him “I don’t want you to look back and hate yourself because you said you hate me.” He of course, has no idea what this means and simply goes up stairs.

She goes to see Sean one more time and asks him if any of his friends thought she was hot. He messes with her, telling her that he did and he always felt there was so much tension between the two because he wished she was his girlfriend. He then admits that he’s messing with her and they wrestle in the way siblings do.

Cathy then returns home and grabs a blanket out of the hall closet. She enters Adams room and goes to sleep on the floor.