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Archive for the ‘Shep’s Thoughts’ Category

The Bachelorette – Ranking The Men

In Episode Recaps, Shep's Thoughts on June 24, 2016 at 12:13 am

It’s been a while since I’ve meandered back over here to share my thoughts on anything to do with TV, but it’s okay you guys because I’ve found the one thing that actually gives me reason to do it – the current season of The Bachelorette.

I have to give my husband the credit for this one, because hidden beneath the exterior of a video game loving Taco Bell enthusiast* is the heart of a man who loves the trashiest reality TV. It was he who settled on an episode of The Bachelor last season where we first met JoJo. And it was he who came back to watch the season finale where we watched her heart get shattered by Ben. And it was he, who set a season pass for The Bachelorette without me asking.

And now our Monday nights are spent praying that our two month old stays down for the night while we enjoy chalupas and eagerly anticipate which guy will get the heave-ho from JoJo.

That being said, I’m just going to go ahead and rank all of the men in no particular order aside from alphabetical because I still don’t know if I have a favorite. (I’m lying. I do. It’s Wells.)

bachelorette

Alex – For a marine, he’s certainly not as manly as one would be expect. There’s sensitive and then there’s whiny bitch and Alex is kind of falling a little more into the latter category.

Ali – When your eyebrows are the most memorable thing about you, you’re going home. (And he did…preferably to find a good waxer.)

Brandon – Poor Brandon. He wanted to experience a love similar to that in The Notebook. The closest his hipster-self can get is to write about his time on The Bachelorette in a notebook since he’s gone now. And he will. Because he’s a hipster…he HAS a journal, probably hidden beneath a pile of fedoras that he only likes ironically.

Chad – I couldn’t tell if he was a planted actor or just a sociopathic deli-meat enthusiast, but regardless he’s said farewell, with just the slightest hint of serial killer.

Chase – He’s good looking enough, but his personality leaves much to be desired.

Christian – I actually liked him, but since I’m not JoJo, my opinion matters not.

Coley – A smile as big as…something really big. It was too big. Honestly frighteningly so.

Daniel – His occupation was listed as “Canadian” and he aligned himself with Chad. Bad idea, eh?

Derek – He recently needed reassurance from JoJo. It’s okay Derek. You’re good enough, you’re smart enough and gosh darn it, people like you. But NOT Alex.

Evan – The  erectile dysfunction specialist didn’t get a new shirt from Chad OR a rose from JoJo. Thus recaps Evan and the No Good Horrible Very Bad Day.

Grant – Like most firefighters, he was hot but his personality was akin to that of a doorknob.

Jake –  He stated that in 5 years he saw himself married to The Bachelorette, expecting their first child. Which bachelorette? Because not this one.

James F.- Owned a boxing club. And that’s all I can pretty much remember about him. And he probably hated Chad. Because, let’s be honest…who didn’t hate Chad?

James S. – Bachelorette superfan. Possibly would have made Chris Harrison into a coat had he lasted longer.

James Taylor – The only james out of the three to actually have his last (possibly middle) name listed. And that makes him important.

Jonathan – Who? Did he even speak? Seriously, did he say words? Was he on this show?

Jordan – Hot former football player. Brother of hot current football player. Potentially mini Chad in training.

Luke – Super hot, but also interchangeable with Jordan at this point in the show.

Nick B. – Listed his favorite magazine as Ducks Unlimited. As well he should. Because Ducks Limited just isn’t bringing it anymore.

Nick S. – He’s ruggedly handsome and afraid of “scary” cheese. Perhaps JoJo saw this as a symptom of potential lactose intolerance that could be passed on to their future babies and that’s why she cut him. Or because he’s a 26 year old man who’s greatest fear isn’t dying alone but brie.

Peter – Were you BFF’s with Jonathan? Were you guys just like, out by the pool?

Robby – Falls in line with Jordan and Luke. JoJo has a type and it makes them indistinguishable from one another. (Or maybe I should cut back on the moscato during these episodes to be able to tell these guys apart.)

Sal – Oh Sal. You…were a guy. That was there. I think.

Vinny – Never trust a barber with a bowl cut.

Wells – Dude brought All 4 One with him to meet JoJo. And is hilarious. When she cuts him for one of the wolf pack, I will be sad. I swear. (By the moon and the stars in the sky).

Will – He was sweet. So, he’s not there anymore.

shepherdstv

Can I Accept A Rose?

*Enthusiast does not properly describe his love for the Bell. He would marry a flatbread if he could.

 

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Bones Gives Birth to Christine Angela!

In Bones, TV Reviews on April 4, 2012 at 9:00 pm

The Spring premiere of Bones, The Prisoner in the Pipe did more than just debut the show in it’s new timeslot; it debuted a whole new character. Yes, the Bones family proudly welcomed Christine Angela into the fold. Was it perfect? For me, it was mostly perfect. Am I flailing like kermit the frog over it? No, but after being the most hyped episode seven years in the making, you can’t expect to please everyone. That being said, here’s what I liked, loved, and tolerated.

The Case
I’m not getting into the case at all in this one, suffice it to say that I enjoyed it. It was well-paced, nothing about the crime work seemed unbelievable at any time to me, and I bought it. It was actually interesting, as opposed to other cases in the past and I enjoyed the fact that the majority of the solving was done in the field. Brennan’s experiment with the cookbook greatly reminded me of the on-the-spot crime solving in The Baby in the Bough. It flowed easily and there was a happy balance of squints & B&B.
Status: Liked

Daisy Mae Wick’s Blatant Disrespect for her Mentor’s Office Floor/Cervix
Firstly, yes I have given Daisy a middle name if only for the fact that I needed to scream her full name at the TV. “DAISY MAE WICK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” The whole scene in Brennan’s office I likened to the time my dog Freckles decided to use the living room rather than the great outdoors to do her business. See, like Daisy, Freckles was kind of stupid and never seemed to learn her lesson. I knew she couldn’t be trusted. Like Freckies, I knew Daisy was up to something, the minute I saw her there. I caught Daisy mid-piddle. I just wanted to whack her on the nose with a newspaper and say “No!” repeatedly.

Ditto on Daisy the Doula. A thousand times no with a newspaper.

Status: Tolerated. It’s all you can do with Daisy

Sweets and Booth
Normally, I can’t really stand the two of them together. I feel like Sweets place in the field is a little forced even if he’s doing something as simple as profiling. In my mind, Booth’s partner is Brennan and I think I’ve harbored a little angst towards Sweets because of this. I much more enjoyed Sweets place as a psychologist. And just like Brennan said in the 100th, “It’s your job as a psychologist to get everything wrong.” Like say, attempting to pull one of on a woman who is far smarter than you.
Status: Loved (No Soccer)

The Blatant Foreshadowing
While I wasn’t able to guess the killer straight off the bat, the writing was literally on the wall in other scenes. The minute Brennan mentioned the Bible story, I knew where we were headed with this. So did my 17 year old sister and my mom. I knew from spoilers that she’d give birth in the barn, but it only made for a more frustrating viewing experience when they guessed and then proceeded to pester me with “Come, on just tell us!” Also, the line about “Whoever wrote that knew how to manipulate an audience” came off a little harsher than intended when looking back on it.
Status: Tolerated it.

The Baby in the Manger
As I said with the blatant foreshadowing, from the middle of the episode I knew that this was going to happen. The only thing that made me upset about this was that my very good friend who happened to be on the fence about Bones gave up after this. “Her child is Christlike? Come on! Done!” she tweeted me. I’m hardly a religious person at all, but the comparisons were stretched thin at best. It was even a bit much for my tastes.
Status: Tolerated It

The Birth
If you take away the location and look at the birth as a standalone scene, it was epic. EPIC. Others have said that it’s been hard to accept Brennan and Booth as a couple, but to them I say, just watch this scene. The one thing that I walked away from this knowing was that they are so in love with each other its amazing. Its not about kisses or sex. Its about taking care of each other, and assuring each other that you’re there for each other. That’s exactly what this scene did with both the writing and the direction. When Booth apologizes for not getting Brennan to the hospital in time, you can see that he’s feeling like a failure as father. It’s his job to make sure Brennan and the baby are safe, that’s all he’s tried to do and now, here they are in this place where its the polar opposite of everything he’s envisioned for the birth of his daughter. In his mind, he’s failed. That ONE line of apology to Brennan, all of that came across.

And her response to him is even better. “This is a perfect place. This is a perfect place,” she says. She’s laying on a dirty floor covered in hay and its perfect. And I don’t buy that she’s happy she can control the situation, because at this point we’ve all realized that Temperance has lost complete control. When she follows up by telling him that children raised on farms have far fewer allergies and respiratory issues, she’s turned to logic once again to assure him that he’s done good. Those two lines of dialogue spoke more to me about the love the two have for each other than any other scene in the entire episode. Putting the religious aspect of the birth aside, it was the perfect place.

The bickering between the two never stopped, but you know what else didn’t? Their hold on each other. If you watch the scene, you’ll notice that they’re holding onto each other as much as they possibly can in every single moment. It echoes the song at the end: it shows how bad they need each other. Not to mention Booth wiping the sweat off her forehead. Sigh. David Boreanaz could deliver my baby anyday. Yeah, I said it.

Additionally, Brennan’s last line in that scene: “Look at us. We’re a family.” Emily Deschanel played that so perfectly that I would not change a thing. The first thing I looked back on was in season 2 when she says, “I’m just one of those people who doesn’t get to have a family.” And now, she’s holding her daughter and laughing. It was perfectly executed by the director, the actors and the writers.

Status: LOVED

So that’s my take on the big things. What say you Bones fans? Liked it? Loved it? Hated it? Do you feel manipulated as an audience? I wanna know! Hit the comments and lets discuss!

I Don’t Like You: Daisy Wick

In Bones, Shep's Thoughts on March 22, 2012 at 11:51 am

Let’s face it, sometimes you can have the most perfect show with the most perfect cast and everybody is happy. But more often than not, that’s not the case. There’s always that one character on your shows that you may not like as much as the others. I’ve always had this problem. In regards to Friends, it was Ross. On Will & Grace, it fluctuated between Will and Grace. On my long standing binge with General Hospital, it was Jason.

But then there are some characters you just utterly loathe so much that they actually make you want to fast forward their scenes. I’ve discovered that it most often happens with supporting characters, rather than key players. On Friends, it was Janice. On Will & Grace, it was Nathan. On General Hospital, it was Elizabeth.

And on Bones, it’s Daisy.

Let me get something straight right off the bat, Carla Gallo is excellent. I’ve seen her in plenty of other shows that did not make me want to take a baseball bat to my television screen. I think she’s a phenomenal actress. Her scene on Two Broke Girls had me cracking up. But the character of Daisy Wick just makes me…stabby.

Maybe it’s the fact that they positioned her as being “annoying” in her first episode. In The Man in the Outhouse, I’m sure they were going for the really “eager beaver” type of character. Desperate to please her mentor, she was willing to do anything to get the job done. The one scene that stands out to me the most (beyond her whiny little moments of ‘I Helped!’) is when Cam questions her about the information she found out about the gun. Her reaction was brash, sassy, and utterly disrespectful. From that moment, I wanted her to be taken down several notches. When I saw Sweets call her and say “Hey, I’m sorry you got fired,” I heaved a sigh of relief. She was annoying, and she was gone.

But then she came back and she was annoying again. In The Skull in the Sculpture, I once again found myself feeling a little stabby. And when she crushed that delicate skull, I just wanted to punch her. And then she got fired again, and I was happy. But when Sweets announced her was dating her, my stomach dropped and I realized the truth.

Daisy Wick was the housefly of Bones.

You know when you get a house fly. You swat them away and they just keep coming back and you just can’t kill them? That’s Daisy. She’s buzzing about annoyingly and you just CAN’T seem to get her with the fly swatter. There’s nothing you want more than to smash that swatter down on the counter and marvel at the fact that while, yes you do need a clorox wipe, the annoyance is finally gone.

But sadly, with Bones that hasn’t happened. Her buzzing has consisted of several pesky little annoyances like being a complete sex fiend, nauseatingly referring to Sweets as her Lancelot (barf), and just generally having no idea how off putting she is. And don’t you dare tell me that that is part of her charm. It may be who she is, but it is most certainly NOT charming.

I think part of my reason for hating her as much as I do stems from the fact that not once has she ever been taken down a notch. Remember when Shaw was so desperate to please Booth? She was just as eager as Daisy, just as excited to be working where she was and willing to do anything it took to get the job done. And when she told Booth all of this, he basically told her to “Shut up.” Because it wasn’t about her. And Shaw got it.

Actually, Finn was a character similar to Daisy in terms of him being off-putting in his first episode. His overhyped accent and the use of some of the most ridiculous excuses for southern analogies made me roll my eyes and I thought, “It’s like a male Daisy from Texas.” But then there was that amazing scene that he has with Brennan, and she bonds with him. He’s told her the honest truth about his family life and she accepted it. It was simply Brennan’s form of saying “Shut up. It’s not about you.” And boom. There is was. Redemption. It was one scene lost in arguably one of the worst episodes of the series, but it was there.

Daisy has never been redeemed in my eyes. Three firings, numerous inappropriate moments, and several instances of noting that everyone in the lab is annoyed by this person, and yet she’s still around acting as she always has. Maybe if the characters on screen looked at her differently, the audience might as well. Hodgins still can’t stand her, Angela is annoyed by her and Booth comes across as mere seconds away from shooting her when in her presence. How exactly are we supposed to like a character when everyone on screen essentially can’t stand her?

Daisy hasn’t been redeemed and at this point, I can’t see it happening. To quote one Phantom of the Opera, “We’re past the point of no return.” So seriously, can we just drop a chandelier on her and be done with it?

If You’re Tweeting Spoilers, You’re Kind of a Douche

In Shep's Soapbox, Shep's Thoughts on March 21, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Remember the days when the internet didn’t exist and we actually had to WATCH TV shows to find out what happened? Yeah, I don’t either. I like to refer to those as the Dark Ages. Now with the fabulous existence of mass communication, anything and everything is available on the interwebs. The problem is that sometimes, I don’t want to see it. And if you make me see it when I don’t want to, you’re kind of a douche..

The truth of the matter is there is such a thing as spoiler etiquette. Before we even start with that, I think there needs to be some sort of a Spoiler Alert Threat Level. Hey if it works for the US Government, it can work for TV fans right? We’ll work from the bottom up, shall we?

LOW
There’s really very low chance of you seeing spoilers. Case in point, if you’re worried about seeing spoilers for Bones, go look at Pintrest. There is less likelihood of you finding out something about the next episode if you are browsing someone’s collection of Tilapia recipes.

Guarded
There is a chance of you seeing a spoiler, if you’re not careful. You have your friends screen journalists on Twitter for you to see if they ever tweet a spoiler. Same goes for generally any person on Twitter, or Facebook, or Tumblr. Living in the guarded zone, if taken too far can equate you to that quasi-racist dude in the neighborhood who just is hyper aware of anything that goes on around him and will never ever ever sign for his neighbors packages.

Elevated
You live in the zone of following journalists & other fans who are known for their “scoops.” The chances of you seeing a spoiler in this zone are heightened because you’re looking at TV related content.

High
There’s about an 85% chance at some point you will see a spoiler tweeted by either a journalist or a fan and there is nothing you can do about it.

Elevated
You go after spoilers like the Walking Dead go after brains. But probably faster and with much more gusto. Zombies are slow right?

Whatever category of spoiler threat level you fall into, it doesn’t really matter. The only safe way to really avoid spoilers is to unfollow absolutely everyone that talks about your favorite show, lock yourself in your closet and only come out when the show is literally about to start. But that doesn’t work for everyone, so you take your chances and you face the world. This brings me back to my original point:

Hey, if you’re tweeting/facebooking/tumblring/pintresting spoilers, you’re kind of a douche.

I suppose we could look at what defines a spoiler and I’m going to go with the simplest most straightforward definition that I’ve got. You ready? Listen closely.

IF THE EPISODE HAS NOT AIRED YET, ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT IS A SPOILER.

And now its as if each and every excuse has a hand and is raising it proudly to protest my point. I’ll take these one at a time.

1. I can tweet about whatever I want, you followed me! This is your fault!
In some aspects, this is true. But it is also the most commonly used excuse in the book for anyone who’s been called out on being a douche for spoiling something. It’s also a CRAP excuse. That’s like you punching me in the face and you blaming me because my face was within range of your fist. It really doesn’t make that much sense and you’re kind of a douche for punching me in the face.

2. But I was talking about something in the promo!
Did you know there are people who don’t watch promos because they want to be surprised? My personal take on promos is that they’re fair game to discuss, but again that’s just me. People who prefer living in the guarded and low zone disagree, and think you’re kind of a douche.

3. But that reporter said that in an article.
Did you know that some people don’t read articles like that because they want to avoid spoilers? Share a link to the article with the words spoiler warning and go tell people to discuss it in the comments. Openly talking about it on twitter or anywhere else makes you kind of a douche.

4. But I already saw the episode and I want to talk about it!
This one is easy. If you’re talking about anything other than what happened in the promos and you’re not a legitimate journalist, you’re a douche. I exclude legitimate journalists because they understand how to appropriately share spoilers.

5. But I didn’t actually say it, I just said “I can’t believe so & so said it!”
If you’ve alluded to the spoiler, told me where to find the spoiler, told me who said the spoiler, you’ve handed me the keys to spoiler castle. I can go enter at my own risk, but I’m thinking you’re still a douche for dangling them in my face. I like to equate this to the onion rings in the freezer. Apparently, there was a bag of Nathan’s Onion Rings in my freezer that i had no idea about. They sat in there for like 3 weeks before I noticed them. And for those three weeks, when I was on my diet, I did not want those onion rings. But the minute I knew they were there, they were tempting. Kinda like spoilers.

So basically it’s up to you all. You have your preference of what Spoiler Alert zone you want to live in and you have the choice of what to say on Twitter, Facebook or anywhere else. But if you tweet spoilers without so much as even a thought to those following you, I will stand here and make one solid final conclusion.

If You’re Tweeting Spoilers, You’re Kind of a Douche.

Casting Call: Zachary Levi

In Casting Call, Shep's Thoughts on January 25, 2012 at 5:05 pm


As a loyal and devoted Chuckster, I’m more than slightly saddened to see one of my favorite shows come to an end. (Alright, I may be kinda going through the shakes, but that’s neither here nor there.) I can’t help but remember the saying “For every door that closes, another one opens.” So now it’s time for a fun little game, I like to call Casting Call. Here are my Top 5 shows that I’d love to see Zachary Levi cast in!


5. Alcatraz (Fox)
This one popped into my head when I realize we’ve never seen Zac do “bad” before. We’ve seen him do nerd (Chuck), Disney (Tangled) and heck, if you’ve seen Spiral, you’ve actually seen him as a complete prick. But to my knowledge, he’s never truly been bad. And what’s worse than Alcatraz?
Pros: Alcatraz villains, if not shot in the head, are kept locked up in a secret underground state of the art prison. Read: Recurring role!
Cons: It might kill the image of Flynn Rider forever.


4. The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
Five years playing a nerd can’t be simply washed away. I would assume it’s like quitting smoking, best not to be done cold turkey. For that I say, the Big Bang Theory! I assume it’s like Chantix for actors who play geeks.
Pros: Jim Parsons + Zachary Levi in a scene together. Need I say more? I needn’t, but I will. here’s your plot. Zach plays a brillant yet socially awkward doctor who steals the heart of one Amy Farah Fowler. Game On.
Cons: None that I can think of at the moment.


3. Community (NBC)
When NBC brings back Community, why not bring it back with a familiar face? He could show up on campus as the hot new student, giving Jeff a run for his money. Britta, Annie, Shirley and Dean Pelton would all swoon, while the guys desperately figure out how to get the attention back on them.
Pros: His comedic genius will shine with Joel McHale.
Cons: Who knows how long we’d have to wait to see it. Damn you hiatus!


2. New Girl (Fox)
Now that douchey Benji’s been punched in the face by Nick’s weird lawyer girlfriend, Schmidt needs a new bro. I can see them becoming the best of friends, until Nick and Winston politely point out that to Schmidt, “Hey, you’re basically dating that guy.”
Pros: The douchebag jar’s funding could probably buy a new apartment for the gang.
Cons: In the end, the d-bag on the New Girl is kinda like highlander: there can only ever be one and Schmidt has to be it.


1. Smash (NBC)
The only bad thing about Chuck was that there never seemed to be a need to highlight Zach’s amazing singing voice. Can’t you just see him as the hot leading man to play opposite Katherine McPhee’s character when she makes her Broadway debut? Plus, he & Kat McPhee already sound wonderful together as evidenced below.
Pros: He’d be singing on TV and I wouldn’t have to suffer through an hour of Glee to see it.
Cons: We don’t yet know if Smash will be a smash.

So, what do YOU guys think? What shows would you love to see Zach in now that Chuck’s gone?

Oh, who am I kidding? I'd watch him read the phone book!

Did Booth & Brennan Have Sex? Touche, Hart Hanson. Touche

In Bones, Shep's Soapbox, Shep's Thoughts on May 13, 2011 at 12:13 am

I imagine that right about now, Hart Hanson is sitting darkened room. It’s lit only by the glow of a fireplace, logs crackling as they succumb to flames. The high back leather chair he sits in faces away from the door, and a glass of irish whiskey resides in his hand. Behind him, his laptop pings with mentions of the Bones hashtag on twitter. Somewhere on the screen a social media feed is collecting Facebook status updates that contain the word Bones. These will all come to him tomorrow in a detailed marketing report that he can peruse at his leisure. But for now…for this very moment, the room is quiet. All one can hear is the crackling of the logs. The distant ping of the tweets. The cubes of ice in the irish whiskey clanking together. Until…the cackle.

It starts low at first…just like in the movies. A low, barely audible, cliched laugh that expands in volume, just like a chest cavity grasping for air. It opens slowly, wanting more, wanting to be free until the sound of manical laughter is nearly deafening.

For it is the laugh…of an evil genius.

It’s funny how this season, the fans came out in droves to attack Hanson for storylines that they didn’t agree with. Fans were so merciless in fact, that Hanson actually admitted that he’d stopped looking at his @ replies on Twitter. Some replies were so cruel and hateful, that he even blocked the users. After all, Hanson didn’t want to be hated. He’s not a sadist…

OR IS HE?

The most talked about episode of the season has finally arrived and The Hole in the Heart opened up much more than the sniper victims chest cavity. It opened up the biggest mystery in the history of the show. The credits have rolled and fans have been left wondering…

Did they or didn’t they?

For the average viewer, it’s a big enough question but for the super fans…the ones who read into everything and look for clues in every little scene, it was a mind screw that would have made JJ Abrams proud. Clues reside all over the episode that point to Yes, they had sex. Take a look.

1. When Brennan walks into Booth’s room, the time on the clock is 4:47AM…The EXACT same time that Bren walked into the bedroom that she shared with her husband, Mr. B in the episode The End in the Beginning. Right after she gets into bed…guess what they do?

2. Speaking of The End in the Beginning, that’s a very interesting title isn’t it? And since the clock was a throwback to that very same episode, could the title of that episode also be a clue? The
End” of a life signifying the “Beginning” of Booth & Brennan.

3.Booth’s mention of the “universe.” It’s easy to pass this off as nothing, as Brennan admitted that she’s an atheist. But she once got a sign from the universe. It spoke to her. And it told her, to take the chance. To not give up on Booth.

Those are just 3 clues from past episodes that I spotted in this episode, but there were plenty more tells besides that. Take for instance…

  • The smirk that Brennan gives Angela right before Hodgins interrupts. I’m sorry, but that smirk did not say to me “The cuddling was quite satisfactory.” It said more along the lines of, “I’ve been standing in the same place for an hour because I can’t walk right.”
  • The countless looks between Brennan and Angela. Those were the looks between best friends that have a major secret. I look at my friends that way and I usually get a high five or a “OMG, you didn’t!” Oh, but I did. And I’m thinking, the same goes for Brennan.
  • The look between Brennan and Booth at the strangest funeral procession I’ve ever seen.
  • The way she slipped her arm into his, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Have the done that before? Yes. But could it mean something more this time? You bet your sweet bippy.
  • While the next episode is entitled, The Change in the Game, one has to wonder have we already seen it? And how long til we find out what ACTUALLY happened? Sound off in the poll below! And comment, comment, comment!

    Seriously though, touche Hart Hanson, for finally answering the question “will they or won’t they” with the question, “did they or didn’t they?” You sir, are one wiley bastard. And I mean that in the kindest way possible.

    Let’s Play Speculation: Bones “The Hole in the Heart” Promo

    In Bones, Shep's Thoughts, Uncategorized on May 6, 2011 at 7:54 am

    I’m paraphrasing from Wedding Crashers here but Fox…you are my bitch lover. Seriously. Watch the promo for next week’s Bones, “The Hole in the Heart” and then tell me that statement isn’t true.

    Firstly, wow. I still can’t wrap my head around why the Fox promo department feels the need to spoil so much in their promos. They could have faded to black right after that dramatic shot of each character and Brennan screaming “call an ambulance, someone’s been shot.”

    We’ve seen 30 non-secutive seconds of a 45 minute episode and already fans are practically pooping themselves with the thought of possibilities. And there’s this tweet:

    Thank you kind sir, for poking the g-damn bear. But it makes me wonder…is this the episode that fans have been waiting 6 years for? Will Booth and Brennan finally knock boots? Will he jump Bones’ bones? Will they do the horizontal mambo? Will they feel the Earth move? Will they play hide the sausage? Will they do the hippity dippity? Will there be a hot beef injection? Will there be a game of slap and tickle?Will our fav FBI agent play doctor with the good doctor? Will he stuff the beaver? Will he throw a log on her fire? Will he wet his wick? Will they pay a visit to the island of ComeOnIWannaLayYa? Will he DIP his wick? Will they break the laws of psychics? What I’m trying to say here…

    Will there be more than one BANG in this episode? Take the poll and sound off in the comments!

    6AM & I'm Googling "Sex euphamisms." The things I do for you people.

    The Cast of Boy Meets World Reunites on Twitter!

    In Shep's Thoughts on March 16, 2011 at 2:58 am

    I’m fairly certain that there are more important things I should be doing right now, (mostly sleep) but I got old and now caffeine affects me. That second cup of Blueberry coffee still has me going strong! I was working on a report for work, and I needed a smidgen of a distraction. So, I swung by the twitterverse and I just happened to find out that the cast of the GREATEST TGIF sitcom of all time was reuniting right before my eyes. Here’s who’s tweeting!

    Corey: @BenSavage
    Topanga: @daniellefishel
    Shawn: @onthestorm
    Rachel: @MaitlandNyla
    Mr. Turner: @TonyTylerQuinn

    And just so you all know, I was working late when this happened. So…late night work mode + my inner 14 year old resulted in this (you’ve got to click the image to get the full extent of my psychosis point):

    What Happens When An Analyst Gets TV Nostalgia

    And just for a fond trip down memory lane….

    I have a niche?

    Glee Casting Scoop: Or Rather Glee Casting Sincere Plea

    In Glee, Shep's Thoughts on December 7, 2010 at 11:54 pm

    Dear Ryan Murphy,

    Let’s cut the BS and get to the point. You know talent when you see it. Here’s talent. Please see it. And then please contact Sam Tsui in any way possible (Twitter, YouTube message, Facebook, email, snail mail, fax, carrier pigeon, telegram, ect.) to get him on Glee. After watching the following videos I think you’ll agree that he needs to be there.

    (Note to guy who yelled "I wanna have your babies" at the beginning of that: Ditto, sir. Oh and GET IN LINE!)

    Oh and can he do Glee? See for yourself.

    What do I get out of all this? Not a damn thing. If you’ve read this and you’ve watched the videos, that’s enough for me. Just sharing the Sam Tsui love y’all. Just sharing the love.

    Sam on Facebook

    Sam on Twitter

    Sam on iTunes

    An Open Letter to Seeley Booth From A Concerned Pair

    In Bones, Shep's Soapbox, Shep's Thoughts on November 6, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    I know I haven’t blogged in a while and there’s really no excuse for that. Don’t get me wrong I could give you all a list a mile long, but the fact is I won’t. In fact this isn’t even my return to blogging. Instead, I was anonymously approached by two concerned individuals who needed to be heard. So I’ll get back to blogging eventually, but this isn’t my turn. It’s theirs and far be it from me to deny anyone the opportunity to have their say. ~Shep

    Dear Seeley,

    We know it’s been a while since we’ve talked. It’s been a while since we’ve had any sort of input in your life, mostly because nothing you’ve done over the past few years has really affected us all that much. In fact, most things you do don’t affect us at all. We’re just there, hanging out in the background. So it stands to reason that you could forget about us when making important life decisions. But dating someone is an extremely important life decision, and believe it or not it’s one that directly affects us so we’re sharing our thoughts, questions and concerns about this most recent development in your life.

    Don’t get us wrong, we were happy for you in the beginning. Honestly, Hannah’s hot and when you decided to hit that, let’s just say we were behind you (so to speak) 1000%. Seriously, we were thanking our lucky stars, praising any being that could be considered holy and the like. Finally man, you were getting some. Nothing makes us happier than that.

    So when you were all done under that fig tree, we were happy, nay, ecstatic. Now, it’s months later and we’re not happy at all, and there’s not even an unplanned pregnancy to blame in all this. Don’t get us wrong, you getting some on a daily basis is definitely something that we can cross off our bucket list, but we think it’s time for an intervention. We should probably just come right out and say it.

    Your relationship with Hannah is killing us.

    It’s not the constant sex that’s the problem. Dude, we’re happily down for that. It’s just that…and we’ve tried to think of a nicer way to phrase this, but nothing seems to come out as perfect as…

    You seem to be growing a vagina.

    Back in Afghanistan it was hot. You were doing her all over the place and we couldn’t get enough. Not surprisingly though, you haven’t had any in years (‘You do fine’ Yeah, OKAY.) But now that she’s here you’ve morphed into the chick in the relationship. You proclaimed to your shrink that you went out and bought her bathroom stuff (read: tampons). She’s out getting shot and you’re sitting by her side like Suzy Homemaker nursing her back to health with a juice box and quietly whispering “I’ll miss you” after she leaves the room.

    Dude, WHAT THE HELL? You’re like the heroine in any romance novel ever. And we’re not talking the good kind of romance novels, where there’s a little bit mystery and some betrayal, maybe a little action. We’re talking the Harlequin shit you can pick up Stop & Shop. We’re not kidding either. Go to the store, grab one, read the back cover and then head on over to the feminine products aisle and pick yourself up some tampons. You need them more than she does.

    That being said, we’re here to tell you to man the fuck up. Seriously, when Gordon Gordon told you to “grow a set” in regards to you not being able to fire off a gun to protect your partner, we came to your defense and we were deeply, deeply offended. Now, as we find ourselves in the cocoon of warmth that we’ve shriveled ourselves in to for the sheer purpose of preservation and lack of embarrassment, we sincerely hope that this letter makes a difference. Because next time someone gives you that advice, look down. You’ll realize that they’re right.

    God speed, friend.

    Sincerely,
    Your Balls.

    I'm Back Bitches. (And Gentlemen)