Glee Review: “Audition”

Alright, I’ll say it. I didn’t like the Glee premiere. Fire at will…but only after you read my reasoning.

Keep in mind that with the hype Glee sustained this past year (19 Emmy nominations, 4 wins, a sold-out concert tour and ratings that other shows only dream of) it’s understandable that I could find the season premiere disappointing. After all, that hype lasted all summer and the season premiere has been promoted as if it’s the second coming of Christ. It’s bound to be a let-down, at least in some ways.

Let’s start with the beginning because as a classic show tune goes, that is a very good place to start. The beginning is the opportunity a show has to hook you, and pull you back in. In Glee’s case, the line didn’t even catch. Jacob’s video blog highlighting the Glee club fell flat for me as it came off with a tone one can only describe as smug. Yes, it ended with Kurt getting a slushie to the face, thus showing the audience that the Glee club certainly wasn’t too big for their britches but for me that slushie came a few minutes too late.

After that, it didn’t seem to get any better. The unholy alliance of Sue and Will made little sense to me in the season finale, and it made even less in the premiere. My number one problem: Will isn’t cruel. By no means has Will Shuester ever come across as having a mean bone in his body. It’s completely believable for Sue to refuse to sit with Beiste by telling her that she’s saving the seats for her “ghost friends.” Shuester, however? No. So for him to so easily engage in activities that would so easily cause emotional pain to another human being…I just don’t buy it. Yes, he understands how he wronged her, and it comes too little too late, for both him and me as a viewer.

It saddened me greatly to learn that Quinn’s growth (which at times felt forced last season) was only a result of her pregnancy hormones. The minute she zipped up that Cheerio’s uniform, it was pre-preggo Bitch Quinn all over again. She stood in front of Sue and had no problem trying to use her pregnancy as a bargaining chip to get back on the squad. When promising to preach abstinence didn’t work, she spilled Santana’s secret to ensure that she could reign supreme. So, what about Quinn’s life long friendship with Mercedes?

Where are our lines?

Speaking of Mercedes…where the hell was she? And Kurt? If Chris Colfer had won an Emmy, would he have had more lines? Because short of his slushie rant, and his comment about fashion having no gender, I couldn’t seem to find him. Seriously, Mike Chang had more screen time.

Of course, there were some strong points. I did nearly pee when Rachel described Sunshine as a Filipino that was shorter than her. Charice killed that performance of “Listen” (she certainly fared better than Overstreet’s Billionaire) and Lea Michele once again proved her worth with “What I Did For Love.” In fact, Rachel was the only one who seemed in character this entire episode. I truly believe she would send someone to a crack house for love….love of herself.

Am I giving up on Glee? Absolutely not. I’m certainly not watching NCIS at 8PM on a Tuesday and this was only the first episode of the season. And next week’s Britney Spears episode looks mind blowing.

Alright Glee...You Can Hit Me One More Time